Returning Lost Treasures

I came across this video when it was posted on facebook last week. It's such a delightful nostalgic kind of story. I love his honesty, sense of humor, and creativity. I love how he has old cross country skis. I love his speculations about the photographers and the stories he tells about the pictures. Such beautiful photographs too! Who uses 35mm anymore? Well I do, but it's certainly rare to find.

The best part however, is the part about the woman who gave him $26 on the street. I feel like that's quintessential New York. You think it's a crazy big bad city, but every time I go back to visit since I left it a year ago, I am struck by how nice people are there. Sure they're in a hurry and moving fast, but I've found that so many go out of their way to be kind.

This brings me to a story I love to tell about an experience I had in my first year living in NYC. It was when I was in school at NYU and it was a morning like many others. I took the train in from Brooklyn and set myself up in the library to study. However, when I went to go buy myself a coffee I realized I didn't have my wallet. I figured I'd just left it at home, which had happened before, until, a little while later, I got a call on my cell. It was a police officer from a Manhattan precinct, and I was thoroughly confused when he said he had my wallet and asked when I could come pick it up! It was a station not far from NYU, in the west village, and when I went to pick it up, I think he was even more surprised than I was that it had been turned in, completely intact, with money, cards, everything. He also handed me a flier for a Chinese restaurant and said that the guy who turned it in was from this place, if I wanted to go and thank him. I could tell he thought I was pretty lucky.

The craziest part was when I walked out of the precinct, the guy who turned it in was there! He must have been waiting for me to come pick it up. He didn't speak English very well, but he was eager to tell me that everything was in the wallet, including even my extra metro card. All I could do was thank him again and again.

I still have the flier from that Chinese restaurant somewhere, I always intended to go eat there. Honestly I'm not completely sure how he got my wallet. I think I must have dropped it getting out of a cab near Chinatown the night before. It's an amazing story, and it reminds of the story of the 35mm film, even if I didn't making a lovely video about it. There really are good people in the world.

Ethical Eating

I'm reading The Omnivore's Dilemma. I know, it's about time, huh? I started it this fall, but finally got my own copy last week after a little shopping spree at Half Price Books. I was especially inspired to pick it up again after watching Food, Inc., where the author, Michael Pollen, is interviewed.

I'm still only on Chapter 4 in the first section on corn, but this book already makes me want to shout out loud! Unfortunately right now my audience just consists of my family and anyone who happens to stumble upon this blog (like you!). I certainly gave my mom and brother an earful yesterday, and so, well, prepare yourself, because I gotta get this off my chest.

In The Omnivore's Dilemma, Pollen describes how messed up our food system has become and it infuriates me to read about just how backwards things are. Farming in the form it was originally intended makes sense- you grow crops, then have animals to eat the surplus, these same animals then provide manure which is a natural fertilizer for your crops. What a simple cycle, right? But the American government just can't have it that way. We had leftover dangerous chemicals from warfare in WWII, so what do we decide to use them for? Fertilizers to grow the food we ingest into our bodies. Then there's this huge surplus of food, so the farmers soon have to be subsidized to be able to stay in business. Crops (now mostly corn) become not really food anymore, but just a commodity. And the manure from the animals? Well, nothing's really done with it- it just pollutes land and water. This whole f-ed up process just doesn't make any sense to me! When nature and evolution gives us something that works just fine, we decide to completely go against it. And look at the consequences.

Alright, I'll step down from my rant just a little bit. You can go read the book yourself, if you haven't already. I think what gets me so worked up about this issue is that it's so easy to take action. With problems like, oh, I don't know, World Hunger, or AIDS in Africa, or the Palestinian/Israeli Conflict, making a positive impact just seems so... *daunting*. But with the food system in America, if you are somewhat secure financially (given- I know that's not everyone), you can totally make an impact. Everybody eats and we all have the power to choose what we eat and where we buy our food. We can read labels, shop at Farmer's Markets, join CSAs, frequent particular restaurants. And we are lucky to live in an age with so many choices! Now I recognize that there are people who do not have the financial means to make these choices- food justice is a problem and we need to work to change that too. However, most of us can make a difference with what we eat and buy, and I just don't understand how you can't act!

Thanks for reading. Here's to making healthy ethical choices... :)

Would you like some cake?

Today I baked a cake. It's one I've made before, by my favorite food blogger, Molly at Orangette:
http://orangette.blogspot.com/2008/02/like-lullaby.html

It's simple, not too many ingredients, and now that I can bake with a standing mixer, making delicious things is so easy!

There are few things I like more than cake. The texture, the moist softness... the filling substance of it. The sweet batter, the smell as it comes out of the oven. It's my dessert of choice, every time, and it doesn't need to be fancy.

This simple cake does the trick. I'm so happy I could share it with my family this evening.

MLK

In honor of today, I want to share two quotes:

"It seems to me that education has a twofold function to perform in the life of man and in society; the one is utility and the other is culture. Education must enable a man to become more efficient, to achieve with increasing facility the legitimate goals of his life.
Education must also train one for quick, resolute and effective thinking. To think incisively for one's self is very difficult. We are prone to let our mental life become invaded by legions of half truths, prejudices, and propaganda.
We must remember that intelligence is not enough. Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education."
The Purpose of Education
By Martin Luther King, Jr.
1948, Morehouse College

The truth of these words is beyond doubt, but the mission to which they call us is a most difficult one. Even when pressed by the demands of inner truth, men do not easily assume the task of opposing their government’s policy, especially in time of war. Nor does the human spirit move without great difficulty against all the apathy of conformist thought within one’s own bosom and in the surrounding world. Moreover, when the issues at hand seem as perplexing as they often do in the case of this dreadful conflict, we are always on the verge of being mesmerized by uncertainty. But we must move on.
--Martin Luther King Jr., 1967

A video:


And a song by an awesome musician I know:



In the words of a friend of mine, we still have a lot of work to do.

Days Later

I didn't even last a week with the "blog every day" thing. Ah well. So much for that! It's hard to think of something interesting to write about every day. Maybe a theme would help, a focus to drive each entry, but I just don't want to limit myself. I don't think I could decide on one anyway, I have a hard enough time deciding what to wear every day, or which books I should buy at Half Price Books.
I also worry about what's appropriate to put on a blog. Don't want to be too personal, anyone can read it after all. Don't want it to be too tedious or boring. Ugghh, even this feels tedious and boring.

Might as well just post a video.

Gratitude

I've been particularly unmotivated and frustrated, so what better antidote than some thankfulness.

I'm grateful for:

-The snow falling beautifully outside the window, even if it turns to rain tomorrow.

-The huge amount of incredible, inspiring, talented, compassionate, and thoughtful people in my life, even if I suck at keeping in touch with them.

-My family for loving me, housing me, paying for me to see the doctor when I'm sick and don't have health insurance, among so many other things, even if they drive a little nuts sometimes.

-Living in safety, free of needless violence.

-The multitude of experiences in my life that have taught me so much.

-Socks for keeping my feet warm.

-Feeling full due to delicious healthy food.

Haikus

Late night silence sounds
like a ringing in my ears
at least they're not plugged

Blogs look better when
filled with links, tags and pictures
mediocre words

Life is really stalled
where are the jumper cables
good food while I wait

I am still sick

I swear this is the longest I have been sick, ever! I've had this horrible cold since last Sunday and I'm still fighting congestion and low energy. Ugghh.

One result of being sick all this week has been that I've gotten to watch more TV than I have in a very very long time. Another is I've read 2 books. And I've also discovered such internet delights as banagrams on facebook, minesweeper on igoogle, okcupid questions, jewishjobs.com, and that I actually do have a flickr account.

A few things I've learned:

-There's are lots of killers on TV. Lots of bad guys. How many profiles can there be of criminals between all the various cop/crime/law shows? That shows a pretty bad view of humanity.

-The Chosen is a beautiful book. Yeah, I know, crazy that I never read it, huh? It's amazing how vastly popular and widely read it was for being so, well, Jewish.

-You can get better at minesweeper with lots, and lots, of practice.

-Netflix instant queue is awesome.

-Handkerchiefs are way better than tissues! Except when yours is in the wash, then you don't have a choice.

That's all I can think of right now. Goodnight!

Evening Thoughts

Damn! It's almost the end of the day and I haven't yet written. Well, it was Shabbat, so my computer was off, and I think that's a worthy excuse. I love having 25 hours away from my electronics, coming back makes me look at them in awe, wonder and delight.

I watched Food, Inc. this evening with my family. The information it preached was appalling and disgusting, frustrating and huge. It made me shout over and over, "your choice is your voice!" to my mom and brother (my dad was asleep on the couch). This is what we said to our students at the job I worked at this fall.

But I don't really want to write about the vast depressing issues of Food, Inc. I want to write about something quiet and delicate, a beautiful, delicious, subtle memory. The first thing that comes to mind is the sunset this afternoon, the image doesn't quite have the warmth I'm searching for, but it will have to do.

The sky was mostly gray today. But it wasn't the monotonous, high, dull gray of most days here on the western side of the Cascade Mountains. It was thick and textured, full of shapes and shades. The sun would peak out every so often, lighting up a tree, or a patch of grass, as if on centerstage. In the car the sun could shock you, force you to search for those broken sunglasses to shield from a surprise flash. Riding across the Narrows Bridge late this afternoon, one such break was out in the south above Puget Sound. The delicious thick clouds with twinges of purple, pink, and orange, along with infinite shades of gray, parted, and a huge spotlight streamed down. The water was glowing, beaming, star of the show, with the soft rounded islands of land on either side.

Whenever I cross that bridge I think this is the most beautiful place in the world.

Sunset Approaches

I was going to write about Shabbat, but now Shabbat is almost upon me and there's no time to write a lengthy thoughtful post. So I just thought I'd share some quotes I collected today. I love quotes and have been amassing them for 10 years (wow, I can't believe it's been that long). I must have 4 or 5 hundred by now.

This first one reminds me of a conversation I had with a French friend of mine some time ago, about how traveling can change one's perspective and how essential yet difficult it is to apply that wonder to the every day world around us.

"The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one's own country as a foreign land." -Gilbert K. Chesterton


This one reminds me of what I'm constantly struggling for in my life. Finding motivation is such a struggle, but it's a reminder that not acting has its consequences.

"We must all suffer from one of two pains:
the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.
The difference is discipline weighs ounces and regret weighs tons."
-Jim Rohn


And this is my favorite of today. It makes me smile, reflecting on the philosophizing I do so often.

"We are a species that needs and wants to understand who we are. Sheep lice do not seem to share this longing, which is one reason they write so very little."
Anne Lamott in "bird by bird"


Shabbat Shalom!

Happy New Year, World!

So a goal for myself in being here (here being my parents’ house in University Place, WA), was/is to write. I know I have a lot to say, but doesn’t everybody? I know I’m a decent writer, a good communicator, but what do I have to show for it? An NYU Masters degree from a program I often think wasn’t too worth it, with not even a thesis to show for 3 semesters of debt? But I suppose that’s just me being pessimistic.

It’s the new year, and I haven’t made any resolutions. (How is this week any different from last week anyway?) I’m notorious for making goals I never keep. But that doesn’t mean I can’t attempt another one, right? So here goes... starting today I’m going to try to blog every day until I find myself no longer living at my parents’ house. There will be no parameters, just a blog post every day. Woo-hoo! So here goes...

Today, aside from continuing to fight a hellish stuffy head cold I’ve had for 5 days, I’ve been thinking about the state of the world. Ha ha! Just a little thing like that, right? I watched a video sent to me by a friend about how both the wealth and life expectancy of people, pretty much across the world, have increased significantly in the last two hundred years. Incredible, huh? I want to embrace that optimism, I really do. I want to shove the statistics into the faces of all those cynics I know. But, thing is, I’m one of the cynics too. My educated mind asks, do those income amounts reflect inflation? Is a longer life expectancy something we even want, in a world where we consume resources like they’re never-ending? Our quality of life may be increasing, but at what cost? Will we even have an earth we can live on?

But somehow, the hopeful idealistic activist in me can’t help but want to work to change the world. Maybe it’s naive, but I think I can make a difference. Or at least I think it’s worth trying, because what else am I going to do? So I’m going to search for the most fulfilling work that helps people, no matter where it takes me. I’m going to let myself be brought to tears by organizations like Falling Whistles, and believe that the money they raise is really helping children. And not imposing some sort of western we-can-solve-the-world’s-problems mentality⎯ damn, can’t keep that educated cynicism down.

Ah well, we all got to work from somewhere, right?

Good Stuff in the World

"We hear every damn day about how fragile our country is -- on the brink of catastrophe -- torn by polarizing hate and how it’s a shame that we can’t work together to get things done, but the truth is we do. We work together to get things done every damn day." - John Stewart

I like this quote. It reminds me to be positive and cultivate amazement about all the ways people are suceeding all the time. Parents raise their children, incredible organizations help people in need, books are written, songs are sung, planes takeoff into the air, friends give each other advice, love is shared, 3-year-olds have birthday parties (like the one I attended this morning), and each of us wakes up each morning.

Let's celebrate our successes!

The Amazing Waffle Iron

My mom bought a waffle iron when she and my dad were living in a greenish duplex in Greenlake in Seattle, before I was born. It was $1.00 at a garage sale. This waffle iron has been cooking waffles for us for 28 years. I'm in a nostalgic mood, being home after adventures across the country and across the world. It's nice to know that as so much changes, there are simple delicious things that stay the same. Here's to blackberry waffles, maple syrup, warm sunday brunches, and beautiful Northwest mornings with people you love.

Longing

I'm in a serious longing state right now... longing for community, for home, for partnership, for true friendship, for peace/wholeness, for connection, for looking into eyes that I say "I know you", for nature's embrace... many things which seem just out of my grasp at the moment.

I feel it's important to find a balance between recognizing the longing- living in it, loving/embracing it, and then working to make it come together. Ebb and flow... perhaps it's all one and the same. Different sides of the same coin. Different views of the same glorious mountain. Without all the views, all the perspectives, we wouldn't have a whole.

But how do I settle in the balance?


Desert Rainbow, all part of the oneness:

Remembering

I've noticed that a lot of my fellow bloggers have already written about it, but I'm adding in my experience. Today was Yom Hashoah- Holocaust Remembrance Day. For all my struggles to find a Jewish community, feel comfortable and at home within Judaism, I have never had trouble connecting to stories of the Holocaust. Reading both Anne's diary and Number the Stars in 6th grade deeply affected my life and when I visited the Anne Frank Museum in Amsterdam 7 years ago, I cried pretty much from the moment I walked in until I left.

I often take issue with how the Holocaust seems to be a crutch for many Jews- the penultimate victim narrative that we just can't seem to move beyond. And what I see as an excuse for Israel to do things I do not agree with. But to be here for Yom Hashoah was a moving experience. At 10 am, sirens were sounded, and for a few minutes, everyone just stopped. I looked out a window at Pardes onto a busy street and I all I could think of was that Improv Everywhere stunt where a group of people suddenly freeze in the middle of Grand Central Station. It was surreal- things started to get quiet just before the siren started, then, suddenly, the wail of the siren began and people froze on the sidewalks, cars pulled to the side of the road, taxi drivers opened their car doors, got out and stood still. It was eerie, as time stopped in remembrance for a few moments.

Then just as soon as it had come to a halt, life picked right back up again. People slung their backpacks over their shoulders, hopped on their bikes, and continued on their way. Cars continued on the road, everyone went about their business.

Of all the communities devastated by World War II, Jews are the only one who have not yet recovered their population. We were 18 million prior to the Holocaust, and today we are 13 million.

I heard a survivor speak today. Soon there won't be any left. I will remember, and I will tell stories.

What is culture?

What makes us different? Why are those differences important? Why is it important to maintain cultural heritage/traditions/rituals? Specifically I'm thinking about Judaism, but I think these questions could be applied to anything. Judaism has existed for a long time. Why is it important that it keep existing? (There is the whole argument that Torah is truth, which is a huge huge one, and I don't mean to discredit it, but for the purposes of this line of thought, I'm putting it aside for now.)

Should Judaism be maintained just because it's been around for 3,000+ years? There are other things in this world that have been done for a long time that I don't think should continue. What does it mean for something to have cultural value? How does culture enrich our lives? 4 years ago in France I participated in an intercultural training for young adults from over 10 countries. As others shared their customs and cultural stories, I found little in "American" culture that was meaningful in my life. So my default for speaking about my traditions/heritage/etc. was Judaism. That's where I felt I had something meaningful to add to the conversation, to share in an exchange. Ok, so there's value, so these practices do enrich our lives. But what does that mean for how we treat other people?

It seems we need to belong to something in order to live comfortably in this world. We search for a town, an ethnicity, a club, a religion, a school, a family, a cause, an organization that we can feel an affiliation with. These communities form our identities, we feel lost without them. Yet, continually, over and over, throughout history and everywhere today, these affiliations perpetuate judgment through an us/them mentality. "I'm a democrat and if you don't agree with me, you're wrong." We belong to something to be able to say the other side is less than us.
What is a world without affiliations? Is it a meaningless colorless world? How do we get to a place where we are all looking out for the other? Where we don't shove aside someone in trying to get to a holy site? Where we don't make half-joking-but-still-cruel comments about members of our own community behind their backs or even to their faces? How do we get beyond our insecurities?

I have some ideas, but I'm really curious to hear what you think.

What to write? About a Palestinian wedding

SO much has been happening the past few weeks... it's difficult to find the time to write, let alone choose what to write about.

A couple weeks ago I had the honor of attending a wedding in Bethlehem. The bride was the sister of a friend of mine from Seeds of Peace (a facilitator at camp last summer). I found out about it at the last minute and I hesitated a bit in deciding to go only because the wedding took place on a Friday night. I had decided in coming here to do what I could to be shomer shabbat. But I decided the wedding was an opportunity I just couldn't pass up. However, it was very weird to light the shabbos candles, then walk out dressed nice like everyone else, but instead of going to shul, I went to the bus stop to take a Palestinian bus into Bethlehem.

The event was so fancy! Lots of food, video cameras, fireworks, lights, music, more food, lots of people, fog machines and fake snow! The dancing was pretty much divided between men and women. The style of dancing was different than I'm used to. I tried to pay attention to what other women were doing so I could at least pretend to fit in. There were 4 of us (non-Palestinians) who came together and I don't think anyone would ever have thought we fit in, but at least I could try not to be offensive...

The feeling of community was so strong, everyone supporting this bride and groom as they start their lives together. Such great communal excitement and celebration! The legal and religious ceremony was very small and had taken place a couple weeks before so this was the time for everyone to gather. There was a great diversity in terms of women's dress- conservative with hijabs to sleeveless cocktail dresses. And no alcohol (because Muslims don't drink)- this was different from most American weddings.

There was a beautiful candle ceremony with all the girls. There were aspects of the wedding that were just like any other- stress to get everything to look just right, cameras everywhere, congratulating the bride and groom, cute little girls dancing with flowers in their hair... I just kept thinking, what a vibrant and lively culture!

Peace and Purim

Here is something I wrote right around Purim (a week and a half ago).

I’m debating being political... What isn’t political anyway? So, here goes. Last week, someone made a comment to me that aggression from Jewish settlers towards Arabs around Purim increases. I didn’t understand why at first, but I thought about it more. The story of the origin of the holiday of Purim is documented in the Book of Esther (one of the books in the Hebrew Bible). In the story the entire Jewish population is about to be annihilated because the King’s right-hand man, Haman (the quintessential villain), issues a decree calling for it. With the help of two Jews, Mordechai and his cousin Esther (who happens to be Queen), the Jews are saved and Haman is hung. A reverse decree gives Jews the right to defend themselves on the day they were set to be killed. (The story is much more nuanced and detailed but that’s the very basic idea.) One of the customs of Purim is to get so drunk you can’t tell the difference between good and bad. So the problems between Palestinians and settlers around Purim is that these Israelis look at Arabs as Haman or those who sided with Haman and decide to “defend themselves”. Obviously this is horrible... But what I want to focus on here is a particular way this reapplying of the Purim story to modern day really troubles me.

In my Tanakh class at Pardes we’ve been reading the Megillat Esther for the past 5 weeks. We talked today about not letting the story fade from our memory. It’s true that I don’t have the same feelings about the Holocaust as someone who survived a concentration camp. Memories slip away and often lose their meaning when we’ve no longer lived them. So how do we make sure not to lose them? By applying them to our current lives. The Torah is absolutely beautiful in this way- we can take things that happened thousands of years ago and apply these situations to our lives now. Torah continues to be actively lived and is what arguably connects us all as Jews.

So we look at the Megillah (Book of Esther) as applicable to our lives today. We call our enemies Haman. Haman who, seemingly out of nowhere, orders all Jews to be “massacred, killed, and destroyed.” (Ch3v13) We want to go after him/them as the Jews did in the story. We think it’s important to stand up for who are. Preserving our identity is worth killing for.

However, this means we are continually caught up in the binary of good and evil. If we say “the Jewish people will always have enemies,” then we’re going to find or create those enemies, whether or not they existed in the first place. I think we need to take note of how the Megillah gives us a more nuanced portrayal of Haman- we can see his weaknesses and his enormous insecurities. Why is the text written this way? Why do we get this window into what makes him tick? During his ultimate humiliation, when he has to parade Mordechai, the man who represents everything he is not, around as a hero, I almost feel sorry for Haman. He’s driven crazy by his obsessions with image, power, and money. Haman, as a person, becomes just sad for me, rather than a threat.

So what do we do about this “enemy” dilemma? The perpetuation of an us/them mentality isn’t getting us anywhere- and it just makes it easy to dismiss those we disagree with and/or don’t get along with, as opposed to trying to engage them or understand why they feel the way we do. By examining the character of Haman, we can see the importance of understanding who we call our enemy. Perhaps this may be a way to work towards a more peaceful world.

Article referencing violence on Purim:
http://www.jpost.com/Home/Article.aspx?id=169801

Musings of the week

Hey! So last week was amazing. Full of so many awesome experiences, and here's some info about a few of them.

Sunday- the Hebrew month of Adar began and we had a festive service at Pardes (Pardes is the school where I'm studying). Adar is when everything gets turned upside down and nothing is as it seems. People wore funny costumes and we sang loudly...

Monday last week was Yom Iyyun Shel Hesed (day of loving kindness) for the Pardes community. Here's a great description of that day by another Pardes student, plus a picture of me!
http://theseandthose.pardes.org/?p=234

Tuesday I went to Ramallah with a friend. I got to see some Seeds of Peace people and just experience the city. It's very commercial, very busy, lots of people, and has a very different feel than Jerusalem. It feels like a completely different country. I got to meet some activists working for ISM and hear about the demonstrations they attend and how they document what's happening for the Palestinians. I admire what they're doing, even if it's not the kind of work I feel drawn to. I'm looking forward to revisiting Palestine soon.

Thursday night I went to Tel Aviv. It was fun to be in a light, easy-going city. To visit an art gallery, see the sea, palm-trees, eat chinese food. Jerusalem is very heavy, and I certainly became aware of that when I was gone from here.

Friday I went up to Tzfat for Shabbat to the Livnot campus. Livnot was the beginning of my return to Judiasm and my spiritual journey in a lot of ways. Being there is so rejuvenating for my soul. It also makes me realize how far I have come.

And now it's tuesday again. Purim is upon us! The crazy holiday where everyone disguises him/herself and gets drunk and we listen to the story of Esther. It's also about giving to the poor, giving food to friends, and eating a bit meal. Plus I have 2 days off of class! Should be fun...

New Food

I ate a delicious felafel yesterday. I'm trying to enjoy all the awesome fruits and vegetables here (they really are especially delicious and very cheap). Unfortunately I have yet to get to the shouk (the large outdoor market), where there are so many foods to buy and things to see. I know, it's crazy that I haven't been there since I arrived. But it's far! And I'm in class all day nearly every day. I'll get there soon. Some things I've been enjoying: persimmons, cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers, and dates. The only problem with dates is that for some reason I think they look like cockroaches. What a horrible association! I still eat them anyway.

I also have to yet to go into the old city... for many reasons.

However, I did go to east Jerusalem last night to a fun restaurant with Seeds of Peace friends. It's crazy how you can be in a neighborhood where everything's in Hebrew, then turn the corner and suddenly you're in a whole incredible new place. Different people, different atmosphere, Arabic everywhere in place of Hebrew. I love experiencing the different cultures, but it's amazing how segregated it feels.