What to write? About a Palestinian wedding

SO much has been happening the past few weeks... it's difficult to find the time to write, let alone choose what to write about.

A couple weeks ago I had the honor of attending a wedding in Bethlehem. The bride was the sister of a friend of mine from Seeds of Peace (a facilitator at camp last summer). I found out about it at the last minute and I hesitated a bit in deciding to go only because the wedding took place on a Friday night. I had decided in coming here to do what I could to be shomer shabbat. But I decided the wedding was an opportunity I just couldn't pass up. However, it was very weird to light the shabbos candles, then walk out dressed nice like everyone else, but instead of going to shul, I went to the bus stop to take a Palestinian bus into Bethlehem.

The event was so fancy! Lots of food, video cameras, fireworks, lights, music, more food, lots of people, fog machines and fake snow! The dancing was pretty much divided between men and women. The style of dancing was different than I'm used to. I tried to pay attention to what other women were doing so I could at least pretend to fit in. There were 4 of us (non-Palestinians) who came together and I don't think anyone would ever have thought we fit in, but at least I could try not to be offensive...

The feeling of community was so strong, everyone supporting this bride and groom as they start their lives together. Such great communal excitement and celebration! The legal and religious ceremony was very small and had taken place a couple weeks before so this was the time for everyone to gather. There was a great diversity in terms of women's dress- conservative with hijabs to sleeveless cocktail dresses. And no alcohol (because Muslims don't drink)- this was different from most American weddings.

There was a beautiful candle ceremony with all the girls. There were aspects of the wedding that were just like any other- stress to get everything to look just right, cameras everywhere, congratulating the bride and groom, cute little girls dancing with flowers in their hair... I just kept thinking, what a vibrant and lively culture!

Peace and Purim

Here is something I wrote right around Purim (a week and a half ago).

I’m debating being political... What isn’t political anyway? So, here goes. Last week, someone made a comment to me that aggression from Jewish settlers towards Arabs around Purim increases. I didn’t understand why at first, but I thought about it more. The story of the origin of the holiday of Purim is documented in the Book of Esther (one of the books in the Hebrew Bible). In the story the entire Jewish population is about to be annihilated because the King’s right-hand man, Haman (the quintessential villain), issues a decree calling for it. With the help of two Jews, Mordechai and his cousin Esther (who happens to be Queen), the Jews are saved and Haman is hung. A reverse decree gives Jews the right to defend themselves on the day they were set to be killed. (The story is much more nuanced and detailed but that’s the very basic idea.) One of the customs of Purim is to get so drunk you can’t tell the difference between good and bad. So the problems between Palestinians and settlers around Purim is that these Israelis look at Arabs as Haman or those who sided with Haman and decide to “defend themselves”. Obviously this is horrible... But what I want to focus on here is a particular way this reapplying of the Purim story to modern day really troubles me.

In my Tanakh class at Pardes we’ve been reading the Megillat Esther for the past 5 weeks. We talked today about not letting the story fade from our memory. It’s true that I don’t have the same feelings about the Holocaust as someone who survived a concentration camp. Memories slip away and often lose their meaning when we’ve no longer lived them. So how do we make sure not to lose them? By applying them to our current lives. The Torah is absolutely beautiful in this way- we can take things that happened thousands of years ago and apply these situations to our lives now. Torah continues to be actively lived and is what arguably connects us all as Jews.

So we look at the Megillah (Book of Esther) as applicable to our lives today. We call our enemies Haman. Haman who, seemingly out of nowhere, orders all Jews to be “massacred, killed, and destroyed.” (Ch3v13) We want to go after him/them as the Jews did in the story. We think it’s important to stand up for who are. Preserving our identity is worth killing for.

However, this means we are continually caught up in the binary of good and evil. If we say “the Jewish people will always have enemies,” then we’re going to find or create those enemies, whether or not they existed in the first place. I think we need to take note of how the Megillah gives us a more nuanced portrayal of Haman- we can see his weaknesses and his enormous insecurities. Why is the text written this way? Why do we get this window into what makes him tick? During his ultimate humiliation, when he has to parade Mordechai, the man who represents everything he is not, around as a hero, I almost feel sorry for Haman. He’s driven crazy by his obsessions with image, power, and money. Haman, as a person, becomes just sad for me, rather than a threat.

So what do we do about this “enemy” dilemma? The perpetuation of an us/them mentality isn’t getting us anywhere- and it just makes it easy to dismiss those we disagree with and/or don’t get along with, as opposed to trying to engage them or understand why they feel the way we do. By examining the character of Haman, we can see the importance of understanding who we call our enemy. Perhaps this may be a way to work towards a more peaceful world.

Article referencing violence on Purim:
http://www.jpost.com/Home/Article.aspx?id=169801